Bonanza of God’s billboards

Once upon a time, Americans traveled the highways in search of God’s last word. But not anymore! Those same messages on the road, plus a batch of new ones, can now be viewed anytime at home on your own personal computer. Currently, Google lists nine sites that carry these “messages from God.”

Do you remember the original billboards? Someone in Florida started the ball rolling with eighteen messages in white letters on black signs, all “signed” by God.

South Florida motorists saw disarming “quotes” like:

* See you at my house before the game. -God

* Come and bring the children. -God

Other messages spoke in a friendly but more serious tone:

* What part of “You shouldn’t …” didn’t you understand? -God

* That “Love your neighbor” thing … I meant it. -God

Now the messages have moved from billboards to cyberspace. A couple of sites include the original eighteen sayings, as well as a good number of new posts. Obviously, God continues to create new ones. Hey, the graphics are great! Look at them! Just plug “God’s Billboards” into Google and click on the top sites.

Like the originals, these new “quotes” range from witty to thought-provoking. For instance:

* All I know … is everything. -God

* If you must curse, use your own name! -God

* The real Supreme Court meets here. -God

As a public service (or a disservice depending on how you look at it), I have assembled all of God’s messages on Bilboard for your edification. If I have missed one please let me know.

Let’s meet at my house the Sunday before the game. -God

Come and bring the children. -God

What part of “You shall not …” didn’t you understand? -God

We need to talk. -God

Keep using my name to no avail, I’ll make the rush hour longer. -God

I loved the wedding, invite me to marriage. -God

That “Love your neighbor” thing … I meant it. -God

I love you and you and you and you and … -God

Will the path you are on lead you to my house? -God

Follow me -God

Big Bang Theory, you have to be kidding me. -God

My way is the highway. -God

Do you need directions? -God

Do you think that is hot here? -God

Have you read my # 1 best seller? There will be an exam. -God

Do you have any idea where you are going? -God

Don’t make me go down there. -God

In Eternity … do you want the smoking or non-smoking section? -God

Small is the door and narrow is the path that leads to life. Do you need directions? -God

When I was hungry, did you give me something to eat? -God

When I was thirsty, did you give me a drink? -God

When I was a stranger, did you invite me in? -God

When I needed clothes, did you dress me? -God

When I was sick and in jail, did you take care of me? -God

Words count; be careful, I hear you. -God

Make up your mind; Is Jesus a lunatic, a liar, or my only begotten Son? -God

Your soul is eternal; where are you taking it -God

Of course I love you, I gave you my Son, right? -God

Read my New Testament. I have included a message for you. -God

No, faith and baptism are not options. -God

What part of “You shall not …” didn’t you understand? -God

We need to talk. -God

If I didn’t exist, there would be no atheists. -God

No, I did not give you certainty, it requires faith. -God

Follow me -God

That “Love your neighbor” thing … I meant it. -God

Eternity is a long, long, long time. -God

You think it’s hot in here. -God

The only important thing about Christianity is that it is true. -God

Do not kill. -God

Don’t wait for the final judgment. It takes place every day. -God

Wide is the gate and wide is the path that leads to perdition. Don’t follow the crowd. -God

Come on, follow me. -God

Would you give your life to perpetuate a hoax? Neither did Stephen, James, Peter or Paul. -God

You love your neighbor as yourself. -God

You are not an accident. I have a purpose for you. -God

Sin is addictive; the terminal point of addiction is condemnation. -God

What’s in your future Read all about it in my # 1 bestseller. -God

Some seeds fell along the way, some fell on rock, some seeds fell between thorns, and some fell on good soil. Which one are you? -God

You are very important to me. My Son paid for you with his life. -God

I didn’t promise you a picnic; I promised you that you would carry a cross. -God

Words matter. I always hear sloppy word you say. -God

When nations stop honoring me, I stop blessing them. -God

If life does not teach you humility, you are simply not paying attention. -God

If you created yourself, obey your own law; If I created you, obey me. -God

Do not steal. -God

Do not commit adultery. -God

Do not bear false witness. -God

Honor your father and mother. -God

Work as if everything depended on you; Pray like it’s all up to me -God

I will not allow temptation beyond what you can bear. -God

Use the scriptures to verify what you hear. -God

Faith is required, but not blind faith. Look for the evidence. -God

Who do you serve? yourself? or me? -God

The blind guides also speak from the pulpit. -God

Hatred and lust will destroy you. -God

If you don’t control your thoughts, who does? -God

Who can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with a lot. -God

He who is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. -God

Evolution is the mythology of fools. -God

Worship is not entertainment; entertainment is not worship. -God

Follow me, not man-made traditions. -God

What happened to the church that I established? -God

My word is enough. Beware of those who add or take away. -God

Faith without works is useless. -God

Forgive others and I will forgive you. -God

Either stay with me or support the world. Neutrality is not an option. -God

You cannot serve God and money. -God

Do you love me? Keep my commandments. -God

Why do you call me Lord, Lord and don’t do what I say? -God

Heaven or hell, it’s your choice. -God

Say, wouldn’t they make great marquee messages for the church? Many of them are direct quotes from the Bible. Show them to your church and see what they think. Or maybe (Yes, I know it’s a radical idea). Maybe we should take them seriously.

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