Miss Barbara Wines About Manners

It’s about Edward (not his real name), who needs some advice to win friends and influence people. I have given him one of my favorite books, The Power of Charm by Brian Tracy, which is not only useful but also fun. If he has read it, little has been assimilated.

Socially, Edward is a bit clueless, but he’s trying and getting better. Bless his heart, he is twenty years old and realizes that he does not know everything yet. He still hasn’t developed the maturity that those his age had years ago. He’s a budding real estate tycoon, elated by today’s hot real estate market, and he’s good at it. Very good. But unfortunately, he has not learned the necessary subtleties that make him a refined gentleman. (Are there more?)

If you think I’m “complaining”, I’m not. Instead, I’m “explaining”, trying to be helpful.

Without further ado, I will explain why, in my opinion, Edward is sometimes clueless and why it is important, especially when he is with seniors, whose houses he hopes to sell. I will give two examples.

First example: Edward has a girlfriend, Mary Beth, and she is a lovely and loving “older woman” for a few years, which is good because Mary Beth has a maturity that is useful to Edward whether she knows it or not.

To give a specific example of what I am “explaining and not complaining about”, for my birthday, Mary Beth gave me two beautiful cups of tea, along with exotically scented tea bags. Frankly, I thought the cups were too pretty to wear, but without saying, “Can I?” –Edward took one of the tea bags and made himself a cup of tea. To be clear: Edward didn’t realize that it wasn’t right to “prove” what wasn’t his. He knows enough to say “please” and “thank you”, but “I can” is still not part of his social vocabulary. Inconsiderateness may be fine among his peers, but older people may object to inconsiderate actions.

Here is the following example. Sitting in a group, watching TV, Edward nonchalantly put his feet (shoes on) on the table in front of him. (Horrors!) He agitated me so much that I embarrassed him (and myself) by telling him to get his feet off the table.

In response, he pointed out that the young man sitting next to him also had his feet on the table (which is also not acceptable), but the difference was that the other young man had no shoes. I didn’t scold the barefoot, although I should have because you don’t put your feet on furniture with or without shoes. In their own house, they can dance on the tables if they want, but not in Miss Barbara’s place. Those sitting were horrified that I would punish Edward, but I was upset. Please do what you want in your own home, but older people don’t like you making unthinking assumptions when you’re in their home.

I am right? Have I become an irritable curmudgeon (That will never happen) who doesn’t mind offending sensitive young people who have never been told they’re wrong and don’t seem to come of age until after middle age? After all, for the most part, no one has ever told snowflakes that they are inappropriate or inconsiderate about anything. It can trigger a meltdown and require a puppy to cuddle.

Oh, if Edward had my mother! She would have chewed it on one side and the other. You know?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *