Jack Daniel’s Revenge (1972, a story outside of Minnesota)

He had drunk a full bottle of empty Jack Daniel’s, he had it in a paper bag, he liked the best, if he was going to drink, he drank the best, and he drank that particular liquor, because his name matched. He said to himself, “I’m glad they’re dead! There was a death coming, both of them.

When he got married, he married a Catholic woman, in a Catholic church, he never dated his wife, he never thought of doing it. He let her raise the child in her faith, and he hated the church for not baptizing her child, because she was not from any denomination, so they refused to baptize the child. That started it all.

Kulin Schultz, was muscular, with a most pleasant face, ten years younger than Jack Daniel, and five years older than his wife, Anna Lee Daniel, and Kulin, he was forty. She was of light brown race, and Kulin was a black German Jew, Jack was Caucasian.

They all lived in a small town just outside of Minneapolis, Minnesota. The township of less than 10,000, which supports some four churches, two Catholic, one Baptist and one Mormon church, had a main street, two small hotels, one closed. The open hotel was clean, not quite within the city but about three miles outside, the rooms were well heated in the winters, even had a cat for a few dollars rent if you wanted company at night.

Kulin, a blue-eyed handsome boy, who smiled more than anything, fell in love with Anna Lee, met her in one of those two Catholic churches, with dark blonde roots in her short, easy-to-style light blonde hair.

Kulin was a police officer, employed by the city, Jack, who mostly sat cross-legged in a chair most of the day, sold insurance.

It was a beautiful church made romance, for these two beautiful individuals, a man and a woman, not a perfect image but one that could baptize Anna’s baby. And so the love story, and this case in question, unfolded along these intricate lines like a rat’s maze, especially in the winter hotel on the outskirts of township.

(Jack is now sitting in his room reminiscing about the situation, he feels comfortable in his little cabin like home, after all, this matter with Kulin and Anna has been on and off for a year, and now he is talking to himself about her—apparently at peace with her.)

“The surprising thing is that no one seems to know anything about this case, and it’s hard not to believe it.”

SS (His Mind’s Eye, or Second Self): “There are reasons for that.”

“Whatever they are, it’s like a puzzle to me now, I’ll never be able to put it all together, after the fact.”

SS: “I’ll start from the beginning, go through it with you, and take a look at what’s inside of you.”

“I think of all the beasts on earth without doubt, man is the most hateful… the only one who inflicts pain for the hell of it, who lives and dies with a nasty mind.”

SS: “Do you regret what you did to Anna and Kulin?”

“Should be, shouldn’t I?”

SS: “Well, you filled two coffins; I guess that’s what you might call a good start.”

“He was a lawyer, right?”

SS: “Wrong, it was a policeman.”

“Hey, that’s right, I forgot.”

SS: “He was a happy-go-lucky guy, cop!”

“Which side are you on?”

SS: “Unbelievable, right? Nobody seems to know anything about this case.”

“Didn’t we say that before?”

SS: “Yeah, I guess we did. It didn’t take you long to figure out how to kill them both.”

“Someone, I think you, immediately, an hour after I saw them at the hotel, doing you know what, that’s something I’ll never forget. Anyway, that’s when I started thinking about revenge and pain.”

SS: “Go back, describe it to me exactly.”

“Why do not you do it?”

SS: “Okay, I’ll do it. None of them had an enemy. The police couldn’t track anyone. Everyone liked them, and you even pretended to like them. The morning was cold and snowy, and when Kulin left and left the one of the three rats you put in the car bit it, one after the other, that is, all three injected with amphetamine, to make them hyperactive. and wild and more vicious. They tore it apart. The police thought it was crazy, a satanic group of out of town playing a prank, it was Halloween, wasn’t it? His arms were bitten, his cheeks, his legs, his hands scratched his eyes. Surely he didn’t die instantly.”

“I hope not!”

SS: “I know it’s a hope you really craved. And then Anna, who would have ever thought of using liquid nicotine, and Anna being a chain smoker, a pure, fast, powerful, colorless, odorless poison, and he killed her with a big gulp of Jell-O. And they didn’t think about you because you didn’t fit the pattern of a murderer, and you got that $150,000 dollar insurance.”

“I wasn’t thinking about it at the time, maybe it got lost in my mind, but it wasn’t there when I thought about all this.”

SS: “You mean, when we both think about all this. What are you going to do with Álvaro’s baptism? Now you are a well-to-do man.”

(Twisting lips hissing and snorting…)

“Good question. Hard to say now. But damn if I’m going to go back to a church and ask them to do what they’re supposed to do again, and if they had done it in the first place, I don’t think I would.” I had to drink everything Jack Denial’s has tonight.

SS: “Uh-huh. I thought so.”

Nº: 793 (4-9-2011)

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