What about society and numbers? Starting school at 6, graduating high school at 18, finishing college at 22, and retiring at 65. And who says we have to stop growing, changing, and evolving as we grow? I do not. And not the millions who, reaching what I call “middle age,” find themselves at the crossroads of their past and their future and decide to take an alternative route.

It’s easy to take the wrong path or get sidetracked, or even get off track. Perhaps he reluctantly agreed to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a doctor, or dreamed of being a writer until an English teacher scoffed at his talent. And now here you are, eager for new challenges or revisiting old ones, but find yourself stuck with excuses. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” “I’m too old to start over.” “It’s too late.” “Oh, I could never do that.” “I’ve been doing this for so long, why give up now?”

It’s like driving 50 miles out of your way. Frustrating, isn’t it? But does he give up and say, “Oh well, I’ll just keep driving the wrong way”? Of course, no! You would turn around, wouldn’t you? So why stay on the same course of life or career?

Perhaps school, family, or unforeseen circumstances shaped your life and set you on that path. But now you are looking for a new direction and a new meaning. You’re not alone. You are one of the 84 million born in the United States between 1946 and 1964 who have now reached middle age and are seeking to find a new way of life. By our very existence, we changed the economy, music, medicine, fashion, technology, you name it, we did it! So don’t stop now! The only limits are the ones we set ourselves.

Some plunge headlong into midlife crises, but there is nothing critical about midlife! Instead, believe in the transformative powers of midlife. This is the time to turn everything around, please yourself, make your own decisions and create what you want. All it takes is a “U-turn”. A U-turn is when a vehicle turns 180 degrees in the opposite direction of its previous path. Similarly, a change of heart, as I like to call it, is a complete change of opinion, action, or policy. When you embrace a change in your life, you set in motion a self-fulfilling prophecy of empowerment and possibility.

Let’s start making your own spin to a new life. Don’t feel overwhelmed, we’ll go step by step.

Start by asking yourself the following questions to get going and let them settle in before answering. I would suggest answering one at a time, preferably before bed. Make each one an essay: write down every thought, feeling, and impulse (positive and negative) you have for that answer. Then save it until you have completed them all.

1. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

2. If money was not an issue, what would you be doing?

3. If time were not an obstacle, what would you be doing?

4. If you were given six months to live, how would you spend it? What would you want to say, and to whom, on your deathbed?

5. If you could be present at your own funeral, what would you want to hear the eulogy say about you?

6. When you are 100 years old and sitting on your porch talking to your great-great-grandchildren, what do you want to share with them about your life? What would you like to remember and see what he did, what he stood for, what he had to say?

7. If you had time to volunteer in the community, what would that be like? Would you read to the blind, save the whales, clean up the environment, serve in a soup kitchen, visit terminally ill children in a hospital? For what causes could you take sides? How could you help make the world a better place? A great way to start this exercise is to ask yourself what infuriates, annoys, or annoys you the most in the world. How can you help change that? I find that the answer is always in giving.

8. What are your strengths and limitations? Write down all the things that work in your life, followed by the ones you would like to change.

9. What is scarier: changing or staying bored and miserable where you are?

10. What is the worst possible outcome you can imagine? Could you survive if that worked out?

That took a lot of work, I know. Are you closer to what you would like to do? Any changes you would like to make? You have no idea? No problem. There are ways to jumpstart the changes in your life. I want something else?

1. Think back to when you were a child. Who/what did you want to be when you grew up?

2. What are your five favorite movies? Five favorite books? You identify with the message or the characters in some way. Explore that common denominator. It is an integral part of YOU.

3. What are your most important values?

4. What are the happiest, most fulfilling, or most outstanding moments of your life so far?

5. What are you most proud of?

6. What are you good at? Make a list of all the things you like to do and the ones you’re really good at (they may or may not intersect).

7. Survey five different people (professionals, friends, neighbors, family members, etc.) and ask them what they see as their three greatest strengths, as well as three areas they could improve.

8. What three adjectives would the people closest to you use to describe you?

9. Why do people come to you? What kind of help or advice?

10. If you could wave that proverbial magic wand, what would you suddenly have/be/do?