Most of the correspondence I receive comes from spouses (usually wives) who are dealing with their husbands’ infidelity. However, from time to time, I will hear from a spouse who was cheated on. Recently, a husband contacted me and asked for my help in making things right with his wife. He had cheated on him, he was desperately sorry, and he wanted to know how he could save his marriage and make his wife believe in him again.

He said in part: “My wife is absolutely furious with me. I’m afraid my one cheating will ruin my marriage. She says she wants me to be ‘responsible’ for my actions, but I have no idea what she’s saying.” means by this. How can i be responsible? How can i fix this?

In the following article, I’m going to offer some tips and guidelines on how to be accountable to your spouse when you’re the one who cheated.

Responsibility after cheating: What does this really mean and how can it be achieved?: When your spouse tells you that they want you to be responsible for their infidelity, your reaction might be that it’s a very loaded and vague phrase that doesn’t really tell you anything about what you’re supposed to do or how you’re supposed to do it. you’re supposed to act.

And, you would have a valid point. Most of the time, the faithful spouse has a hard time putting into words what he wants and needs from you. They are reeling and concerned about your perception of them, so they will often hold their cards tightly to their chest in a sort of test to see how you will respond.

Generally speaking though, if they ask for responsibility, what they really mean is that they want you to show some remorse and responsibility for your actions. They want to know that you understand that you and only you made a big mistake for which you take full responsibility. They want you to take the initiative to fix things instead of waiting for them to take the initiative.

Basically, they want you to jump in and take charge of making things right. They want your actions to show them that you still love them enough and value the relationship enough to take immediate and quick action. This means immediately stopping your contact with the other person. It often means doing research to find out why you cheated, and then fixing any problems.

Sometimes it may mean going to therapy or working closely with your spouse to restore trust and closeness in your relationship. (It does not mean pressuring your spouse to forgive you or to move on before he is ready to do so.) Your job right now is to show them that you are deeply sorry, that you are willing and able to fix the marriage and the situation, and that if they allow you to do these things, they can look forward to a stronger and better marriage instead of just more of what same.

Sometimes when your spouse asks you to be accountable, what they really mean is that they want reassurance. I can tell you that it’s no fun feeling vulnerable or wondering if your spouse is cheating on you or is cheating on you again. To that end, it will often go a long way to helping your cause if you go out of your way to include your spouse in your life and show them that you have nothing to hide and actually welcome them to contact you. it makes them feel more secure.

This may mean that, at least for a while, it might be in your best interest to offer up your cell phone records, your whereabouts, or access to your email. Your spouse may not even want these things, but he says a lot about you if you’re an open book who’s perfectly willing to provide whatever proof he needs that he can really trust you. It is important to have a little patience with them and understand that you are giving them a very specific reason to doubt or distrust you.

It also usually helps you if you are very liberal with love and guarantees. Your spouse will surely wonder if she still finds him attractive and desirable since she betrayed him. Even if they resist this, it’s important that you let them know how important their presence is to you. I understand that it may seem like you make all the trade-offs or do all the work, but usually, it’s your job to provide your spouse with what they need, especially in the beginning, since it’s your actions that made all of this necessary.

Honestly, often when your spouse calls you to account for your cheating, this is exactly what they mean. They want to know that you understand that fixing this and restoring their trust is your responsibility since you set this whole thing in motion. They don’t want you to blame them, minimize your actions, wait for them to act, or try to sweep this under the rug. They want to know that they are so important to you that you are willing to put up with it and do the work it takes to fix this.