Here is a poignant question that rests uncomfortably in the hearts of many victims.

“What is it about power that makes powerful people abuse it without seeming to know they are abusing it?”

We know that there are abusers who seem to revel in them. But much of the abuse happens because the abuser thinks he has the right to do what he does. It’s a disappointment. They are disappointed. And they will argue in black and blue that they did it for good reasons. They don’t seem to understand, or don’t even want to understand, the impact of their behavior.

Perhaps we can assume that there is a reasonable explanation for the total ignorance of those who abuse power, such as arrogance syndrome. Power that is sustained for a long time, that finds continuous success and has relative freedom; well, that power, suggests hubris, is dangerous. And the key danger is that a deficit develops: empathy tends to leak out of the successful person who gains power.

The more successful a person is, the more their empathy can seep through.

Sustained success in any field is potentially dangerous because empathy, more importantly, the ability to empathize, can wane. It is the greatest of human tragedies when care goes to the background with people who have power even over a life.

When empathy becomes skill

How much worse is it that a leader can feign empathy, that a key part of leadership performance is to ‘put on’ empathy when it will benefit them rather than using it everywhere they go. One is a manipulative spirit, who coerces for his own benefit, but perhaps under the pretext of doing a common good; the other is a heart transformed and operated by God. One is reserved for particular occasions to maximize the positive emotional impact; the other is a lifestyle made not for the approval of men, but for the approval of God. One is the kind of thinking that unfolds selectively; the other is a way of thinking that tends to always be thinking of others.

There are many professions and many types of people who are tempted to develop empathy as a skill. But empathy is a matter of the heart, and while empathy can be faked, God is not fooled by anyone. God inevitably catches up with those who feign or point to virtue.

What underlies feigned empathy is, ironically, narcissism. What looks like empathy is not always so.

The root of narcissism

I can tell you from my studies on narcissism that narcissists lack empathy, exploit people and feel entitled to do so. However, we are all capable of being narcissistic, especially when we are tempted to gain something by using people. This explains why successful people are prone to abuse people; in every field of activity, a lot of work is required to maintain success. It’s never easy, and it’s always harder to sustain than we would ever think. The pressure to succeed tempts us to subvert an honorable ethic for the kind of power that can be obtained on the sly.

…narcissists lack empathy, exploit people and feel entitled to do so.

None of us likes to be thought of as a narcissist or thought of as a narcissist, and this especially applies to those who abuse power. This probably explains why someone who abuses power may be completely unaware of it, not seeing it as abuse and even justifying her behavior.

If we live responsible lives before God, our Lord will show us where we are tempted to fall into the kind of narcissistic attitude that potentially abuses people through the misuse of our power.

The person who denies his capacity for narcissism is in danger of using narcissism to abuse.

We begin with a poignant question that rests uncomfortably on the hearts of many victims.

“What is it about power that makes powerful people abuse it without seeming to know they are abusing it?”

There is certainly the reality of arrogance syndrome, but if we truly desire not to abuse others and allow God to foster empathy within us, then we will see our ability to abuse people and situations possibly before, and even during, the abuse. is carried out. . And when it is carried out, hopefully there will be a conscience that provides an impetus for restitution through a suitably acceptable apology.

There is no substitute for being accountable to God in all that we do.

Why does the abuser abuse?… because he lacks empathy.